pen and paper
Thursday, January 20, 2005
uploaded by *~*FIRE*~*
once again
i can't sleep.
i'm not even sure
what hunger feels like
anymore
and i ask myself
why
there's no great love amist
mom and i are on good terms
my father and i are cordial
there's nothing out of place
aside from sleep
the month has been a blur
bits and pieces
of the last 30 yesterdays
flash back in interesting ways
and in just an hour and 2 minutes
she would have been 77
but that's not what bothers me
i'm not a fraid of the future
these eyes just lack luster
the glimmer is all but gone
i'm pulling at straws
trying to think
get things straight
have things orderly
and feel that drive again
again, like when I would
get kicked out of the youth center
but keep coming back
like when even though it never failed
EVERY YEAR there was something going on with me
I refused to allow someone choose my interests for me
that I meant it when I said I wanted to share everything
and though my first thought was to stay put
to see what would happen, if it could happen
I set off to Boston for the summer
and stayed over a year
that though kicking and screaming
I made the right decision to return
for her peace of mind
and for me
like that first real discovery
of the wholeness of my womanhood
and womanness
my likes, simply because I liked
my dislikes
all together my true me
and maintaining my truth
where's that spark that was given to me
upon my spirits creation
why has the excitement of the days head
been replaced with the
hum drum
of the ordinarilaly predictable?
posted by *LadieFire* at 10:53 PM
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